Saturday, September 11, 2004

Sometimes, it just needs to be said...

I love my husband. I do.

Somedays I think he's a complete jerko that doesn't understand me, and never did.

Somedays he makes me insane with his compulsive fixation on details (details shmetails!)

Somedays I am certain he's never loved me, nor cared for me...not one iota.

But then, I get a good night's sleep, and he talks to me in that calm and rational way in the face of my sporadic hysteria, and I remember that I love him.

I love him because he sometimes knows what I want or need even better than I know myself, or am willing to admit even to myself.

I love him because he remains (generally) unpreturbed in the face of my hysterias.

I love him because when he does something, he does it properly (which irritates the daylights out of me in light of my annoyance with considering details.)

And, I love him because he's always thought of us (the two of us and our pets, and now the baby) as a family, and he always considers any major decisions in that context. Getting used to having a "family" that actually cares about the good of the family (and not the satisfaction of individual idiosyncracies) remains a challenge to me. But, in my less nutty moments, I realize this is exactly what my psyche has needed all my life. His steadfastness heals a broken part of me.

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