Tuesday, October 26, 2004

4. Whole. Days.

It's a stellar achievement. I'm on the fourth day of feeling better. The fourth day of not actively wanting to lay down and just make it all go away.

And.

I actually craved somethings to eat this past weekend. Gumbo (which I went without), and good ol' nasty tex mex style cheesy enchiladas with chili gravy (which I made sunday night and they were divine). I figure after weeks of eating crackers and toast, I could afford a few greasy enchiladas.

I am optimistic and hopeful that this is the start of the "feeling great" phase.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Oh God The Stupidity.

Today I decided to take advantage of early voting, and exercised my civic duty to vote. Amongst the many annoying things about voting (eg. queue stupidity, the fact that in this conservative (red)neck of the woods there are about 15 uncontested staunch republican positions, etc.) was the conversation I overheard two women behind me having.

Mind you, they were only a few years older than me, if that. I put them at squarely mid-thirties. Amongst their general suburban moaning they began to discuss the flu vaccine shortage. Apparently there is a clinic here that is giving the vaccine to whoever wants it, no age restrictions enforced. One was telling the other that although she is not in the recommended age group she got a vaccine, because after all she's has cheeeeeldren and is exposed to lots of people in the course of her suburban days and she just "can't afford" to get sick. The other said she totally understood, last year she got the vaccine and still got sick, but was thankful she'd had the vaccine because if not...it could have been much worse (?!!?). And, she didn't understand why only old people or children should get it, because (ha ha jokey jokey) what if there were some sort of crisis in which able-bodied americans were needed to fight a war or deal with disaster and the able bodied adult population will have been decimated by the flu.

Retards.

Firstly, the age recommendations are in place because those population groups (young children, people with compromised health and the elderly) are most at risk of developing COMPLICATIONS with the flu. Normal, healthy adults may get sick, but it's very unlikely they would develop life threatening complications. Just suck it up. If you get the flu, tough shit. Take some tylenol, take plenty of fluids, and sleep it out. It will suck but, get over yourself already. You are not a delicate and tiny snowflake...you'll live. That elderly person that didn't get the vaccine because you, as a self important suburban mother, "couldn't afford" to get the flu may not be so lucky.

Secondly, the flu vaccine generally only protects agains a certain strain of the flu, so if you are exposed to a different strain, guess what? You will get the flu! It's not as though the vaccination you had for a completely different strain will somehow dimish the strain you caught. Tough shit.

Finally, and unrelated to the conversation I overheard....having the flu can not be fixed by taking antibiotics. The flu is the flu. You just have to suffer through it and you'll be ok. So what, you'll not feel well for a few days. Too bad so sad.

Seriously people! What is wrong with you?

And you are voting? When you can't even queue properly (note to the masses: you do not queue across throughways for traffic, you queue down the convenient sidewalk that wraps around the building).

Monday, October 18, 2004

This is it!

Officially it!

If I don't feel better soon, and by better I don't mean well, I mean just better than I feel now...then I will curl up into a (now bigger and more bloated) ball and die.

I promise.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Spoke too soon..

Sigh.

Friday evening was a no-med failure of hideous and explosive proportions. My ribs still hurt. Horrific.

I'm slowly coming to realize that being pregnant is like a long term torture session that consists of deciding what you hate least.

For example:

What do you hate least?

Feeling sick to your stomach all day long and vomitting in horrible explosive episodes or being so constipated that the word "constipated" does not beging to describe the incredible discomfort and pain associated with it?

or:
Do you hate having to tell your workmates you are pregnant and being subjected to the immediate "camraderie" that comes with being "in the club" and hearing personal details about tragic miscarriages and horrific birth about people you know barely beyond their first name more than you hate the fact that you know people are wondering what is up with you with the sudden bloating, running to the bathroom, gagging at smells, and wandering around in a giant coat because you are cold from nausea all the time?

It's been one long series of indignities that only get worse from what I can gather. It all started with the "vag salute" at the doctor when I got my pregnancy results confirmed, and will end with my vag on full display.

Cheery. I know.

I can't wait til the mythical second trimester gloriousness kicks in. It's got to get better right?

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Shhhhhh

Be very very quiet. We don't want to scare it away, but... I may be feeling better. Even without vomit pills. Not only that, I actually felt...perky this evening. Usually, I'm pretty much spent after 3 pm. Oh! How I've missed you shadow of my former self.

Shh! I said! Shh!

Whatever you do, do not notice lest it goes away.

PS. The doglets would like you to know that they are PISSED about the nail cutting extravaganza that occurred tonight thanks to my new old-style perkier self.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Fuckers

Insurance. Man. This country has problems. I'm insured, thank goodness...pretty well. Actually the D and I are going to be switching over to a low deductible plan after a few years of enjoying paying minimal premiums above what my company provides for a high dedutible plan. It served our needs, and gave us affordable access to the only health care services we needed..mostly a prescription here or there, or medical attention for things like my dodgy back etc.

So, yes I know I have it good compared to most. That point has been driven home over the past few months, because although it sucks having to pay lab fees (I'm responsible for these until I meet my deductible) I'm still only paying a negotiated insurance fee for them. For example, my first round of lab fees: the total cost was in the $600 range, but I only have to pay$200. Which is still not great, but not too bad considering. And, once I switch over, the cost for delivery etc will be about as minimal as possible (ie. we won't have to live on ramen noodles for the next few years...hopefully).

So, imagine my shock and dismay when I went to refill my Z0fran today and was told that insurance wouldn't let me have another round of it til the 17th. I only received 10 blister packs (of 3 tablets) for my first round. The directions say to take every 6-8 hours. I'd been taking it every six hours. That was a bad idea. But, in my defense, I felt ill after 5 hours and thought I should take them as suggested. And the thing is, D and I have been cheap for the insurance company all these years. They've gotten their premium and we've gotten a few prescriptions here and there so it's not as if we're sickly or hypochondriacs. I felt like I was doing something naughty in asking for a refill on my prescription (which was written with 5 refills available).

So, now I'm short until I can have another round. For interest sake I asked how much it would cost to just buy them outside of insurance. The pharmacist's droll reply? "Um, that's like in the 4 digits and that's not counting the change." Holy moses! That means at minimum each of those blister pacs of three cost $100 (and you know good and well that it's probably more than that). That is insanity. $100/day? I mean, yes, I'm a bit anxious about how I'll manage without the medicine...I guess it is back to meagre sips of water, toast, and plain mashed potato for me and just living through vomitting, but, geez, imagine if you had no insurance and that was medication you needed to stay ALIVE. And, geez, I never knew how expensive I really was until now.

I'll be misering out the tablets to myself until Sunday, and I hope it won't be too bad. You never know, maybe the morning sickness is on its way out anyways.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

10 Weeks!f

Can you believe it? We're a quarter of the way there. Here's a couple things I learned in the first quarter:

1. You can survive your worst hangover ever...that is the one that has lasted the last six weeks and is pregnancy induced.
2. Zofran is GREAT, but has it's drawbacks...none of which are sever enough to outweight the benefits (ie. being able to eat.)
3. It is hard to comprehend that there is another human being growing inside you, until you see the proof on the screen waving at you. That was singly, the most awesome moment of my life yet. Absolutely fascinating that a little being that looks like a spaceman, is only a couple inches long (at most), is already functioning like a person with a heartbeat and waving limbs.
4. I was always a vivid dreamer, but... not like this. Every night I'm entertained all night long by a colorful procession of detailed and involved dreams.
5. Dogs know when you are pregnant, don't know how... but they know... and they become velcro dogs.
6. Bluebell icecream...I thank you and the pod thanks you. Tres Leches con Pina y Coco (tres leches with pineapple and coconut) is the absolute PERFECT icecream....with bits of pineapple and grated coconut and crumbs of white cake!

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Waking up on the fighting side of the bed

This morning I woke up absolutely furious. It took my addled brains a moment to figure out why I was so pissed off. I mean, spitting mad. It took a moment, but then suddenly I remembered the dream I'd just woken from.

We were out to dinner at an indian food restaurant, when the restaurant owner asked to join us. We obliged. He then proceeded to send our food back to the kitchen almost as soon as it was brought out, and I become increasinly incensed and starving. I woke up after he told me I was fat and had eaten enough.

It was soooo vivid. I'd heard pregnant women had vivid dreams, but thought nothing of it because in general I have vivid dreams...but it's a long time that I've woken up shaking and teary from being so angry.

Woe be to the person that tries to take food away from me when I'm hungry.

Interestingly enough, I actually wasn't hungry at all...and had to force myself to choke down some toast before I started throwing up. Neat! The meds I'm taking are working, but I still vomit if I wait too long between meals. It's annoying. Also, they have some annoying side effects. Namely, headaches and, well, put it this way...how long can a human being go without taking a shit? Yeah. No wonder I'm cranky in my dreams.

Thursday, October 07, 2004


Look at its cute little fingies!

Obviously, the pod get his/her brains from moi!

Tuesday, October 05, 2004


Ollie's happy I'm not chucking it up anymore!

Monday, October 04, 2004

I've fallen (pregnant), and I can't get up....

Blah blah blah blah nausea! Blah blah blah vomit. Blah blah blah worn out. Blah blah blah threw up brown rice so hard it came out my nose. Blah blah blah please! no more saltines! Blah blah blah the hideousness that is burping up your prenatal vitamin all night long.

Blahblahblahblah give up. Called Dr. Got prescription for Z0fr@n. Took first tablet, feel remarkably more willing to still be alive. Ate something besides mashed potato, plain noodles or toast for the first time in weeks (without fear of vomit)!

Let's all hold hands, cross fingers, and hope that things will start to get better from now on.
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